


Harana

by FabulousPotatoSister



Series: Dancing On the Edge of Infinity [3]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Crushes, Crushing, Denial of Feelings, F/M, Family Reunions, Filipino Character, Filipino culture, Filipino reader, I'm Bad At Tagging, Self-Indulgent, Singing, serenades, this... this is basically just a self-insert at this point, y'all i kinda wrote this for me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 12:36:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18717211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FabulousPotatoSister/pseuds/FabulousPotatoSister
Summary: filipino, (n.) - serenade.





	Harana

**Author's Note:**

> hi! so i wrote this fic kind of for me, because i love being self indugent, but i also wrote it for the all the filipino thirteen stans out there. if you're out there, kumusta. 
> 
> filipino words used:
> 
> tita - aunt  
> anak - child  
> 'te/ate - big sis/older woman  
> inday - little sis/younger woman

Asking the Doctor for favors is complicated.

It's complicated because there are favors that aren't hard to grant and favors that are. The problem is figuring out which is which, because in the Doctor's mind, those vary wildly. How does going to see a life threatening event in alien history that could probably get everyone killed count as an "easy favor"? Why does going to a shop on the day it was selling something limited edition count as a "hard favor"? You're probably never going to know.

Not to mention the fact that looking the Doctor in the eyes has been really tricky for some reason. Just a little thing.

Which makes this favor a little tricky.

"Doctor," you begin, carefully, "can I ask you something?"

The Doctor's peering at a little thingy on the TARDIS console, her face scrunched up the way it does when she's really focused and her blonde hair messy and falling over her eyes. She doesn't look up at you, lost in her examination, but her voice is gentle - "Always."

Always. The word is a nice reminder.

The Doctor - an incredible, unfathomable, indescribable alien with a wealth of memories, responding to little human requests with "always". She was here to help, after all.

"I was thinking of going home," you say slowly, not taking your eyes off the Doctor. Not that that wasn't hard.

The Doctor looks up at you, her eyes crinkling - you don't bother to pinpoint their color anymore, as they could go from an already beautiful hazel to looking like the universe. "To Sheffield?"

"No, not there." You fight the urge to smile when the Doctor blinks in confusion. "I meant where my family is. The rest of my family, I mean. If that's alright with you."

You pause. The Doctor stands up and wipes her hands on her coat, her expression totally unreadable (as it usually is) - and then beams at you.

Okay. You were expecting rejection but you know what? This is good. Her smiling at you makes it ten times better. Scratch that, make it a hundred.

"It's definitely alright with me," she says through a grin, already starting to fiddle with the various switches and levers on the console. "The Philippines in 2019 - I haven't visted since the Spanish occupation! I always did love Rizal's work. Did you know he's an absolute riot at parties? Apple throwing and everything!"

"I hope you're not saying apple bobbing," Yaz's voice rings out, and you turn to find her walking into the room. "That brings up some bad memories."

"I love apple bobbing," the Doctor gasps, echoing herself. "And not all of it was bad! We did get to defeat an intergalactic criminal. Apple bobbing's not the worst of it."

Yaz just smiles, shaking her head. "Are we heading somewhere?"

"You fancy a trip to where I lived as a kid?" you ask, nudging her with your elbow. Yaz blinks at you, confused, before her smile breaks into a wide grin.

"You're joking."

"Nope! I thought it would be a nice change of pace from all the adrenaline-fueled trips we go on." You look at the Doctor and shrug. "Not that I don't enjoy those. No offense."

"None taken," the Doctor replies. She holds your gaze for a little while before breathing out and whipping around. Her hand rests on a lever - the "launch lever" as you liked to call it, because it's the lever she pulls before you take off.

You lock eyes with the Doctor, seeing her eyes shift colors in the dim light of the console room. Another mesmerizing thing about her to put on your list, unfortunately.

"Right. Let's get a shift on, then?"

-

You open the TARDIS doors to the smell of grass - and not cut grass, just plain old grass. Long stalks tickle your ankles as you step out, the air growing more humid than the TARDIS interior. The sun casts a warm glow on everything, bathing everything in gold.

"I can already say this is gonna be much better than our last trip." Behind you, Graham spoke. "Another one off the bucket list."

"How long is your bucket list?" You hear Ryan ask, only to get an annoyed "oi" from his grandfather.

"Yes! Perfect landing. Thank you." The Doctor walks out of the TARDIS. "That was a perfect landing, right? Tell me that was."

You don't speak for a little bit. It's weird, being home after such a long time. The warmth of the air is warmer than you remember, but you remember it, and it's enough to make you feel at ease.

"Yeah," you manage, still tranfixed. "Thank you."

The Doctor moves to stand next to you. Her very presence is both a reminder of how you've been gone and how you came back. And you're incredibly grateful. "You're welcome," is all she says, but there's so much behind her words.

(The Doctor enjoys seeing you enjoy home, more than she should anyway.)

"It's getting dark," Yaz says. "Why don't we get to your home?"

The walk doesn't take long. The Doctor was right about it being a perfect landing, as the TARDIS had parked just behind a hill that stood in front of a highway, which was the highway where your family's ancestral house stood. It stood tall, its walls old and wooden and laden with history.

It was good to be back.

You take that back very quickly though, when a family member catches your eye, turns to the inside of the house, yells your name, and suddenly you're caught up in a wave of relatives. Yaz sends a look your way that reads "family, am I right?" while you get bombarded with questions.

"Sit down, sit down," your aunt - a lovely lady you call Tita Grace gushes, leading the team to sit down on an old sofa set. Yaz seems right at home in a single armchair, completely understanding the enthusiastic family reunion, while the rest of the team sit down a bit awkwardly on a longer chair. You decide to keep standing.

Tita Grace sighs at you, but it's more of a "oh my goodness anak look how much you've grown" sigh rather than a disappointed sigh. "Look at you! Back home just in time to see everyone together. We haven't seen you in months, and you didn't even tell us you were coming home!"

"Yeah, well," you tell her, glancing at the Doctor, who gives you a supportive nod, "I've been busy."

Very busy travelling the universe, getting our lives threatened, nearly dying, and enjoying this beyond normal comprehension with four of my favorite people, is what you don't say, although you know that doesn't exactly make for great reunion talk.

"Busy, huh," Tita Grace teases, the corners of her very pink lips lifting. She looks at the rest of team TARDIS, and they all smile politely at her in unison. "Who are these friends you've brought along?"

Graham begins, introducing himself and Ryan as his grandson; Yaz goes next, saying her name and dropping the fact that she's a police officer; the Doctor, on the other hand, stands and takes Tita Grace's hand.

"I'm the Doctor," she says, grinning politely. "Can I just say, your niece is a wonderful person. She's been a great companion on our travels so far."

Ding! Plus one point for being called a "wonderful person" by the Doctor. Of course, this Doctor wasn't shy to give out encouragement and praise when necessary. That didn't mean it didn't feel great when she gave it out. Plus one point, as well, for acting a little bit like a lover asking for familial permission, which was… nice, for some reason. More on that later?

Also, our travels, not her travels. That was nice.

"That's great. And a Doctor of what, may I ask?"

"Oh, of a lot of things," the Doctor replies, "Legos, for one."

You laugh, not noticing the glance she throws your way.

Tita Grace turns back to you. You didn't know a person could smile so wide. "Making so many friends already. Actually - " she says to the rest of your group - "I'd like a word with my niece, privately - would it be okay for you to wait a little bit out here?"

It's pretty much a unanimous "sure", and you look helplessly at your friends before your aunt pulls you into the kitchen.

"You didn't have to drag me away, Tita Grace," you complain, rubbing your arm. "They pretty much know everything about me anyway."

"But this is a private matter, _anak_." Tita Grace holds your shoulders.

Oh my God. This was going to be a very, very long night.

"It's about your love life," Tita Grace continues (oh my God it was definitely going to be the longest night of your life, why do all families ask questions like this). "Are you seeing anyone?"

Your "no" is a well-worn answer that Tita Grace isn't satisfied with. She prods a little more.

"Any of those three? Graham?"

"He was married!"

"What about the boy?"

"Ryan? Oh, uh, he wouldn't be interested in me."

"Yaz? What about Yaz? She's pretty."

"She is, but no."

"Okay, what about the blonde one? That Doctor lady?"

The question knocks the air out of your lungs for some reason. It's a little hard breathing after that. "I'm sorry - excuse me?"

"What? Are you?"

"I'm not." The answer comes out a little too forcefully. Why are you so defensive? And why do you sound like a schoolgirl with a crush - "I'm not seeing anyone."

 _Or do you wish you were?_ says the nagging voice in the back of your brain you begrudgingly refer to as your conscience. _Why do you keep thinking about the Doctor anyway? And why did you even bring her with you to meet you family, no less?_

 _Shut up,_ you tell your conscience.

It doesn't, to no one's surprise, and snarks back with _what a telenovela cliche_ before you squash it to finally get some words out. "And what about it?"

"Sorry, but I'm looking for the - "

Graham pokes his head through the thin cloth that divides the living room and the kitchen, and you feel like this is it. You're ready to die now. You give him a suffering look, and he cringes.

"Bad time? I was just looking for the toilet," Graham stammers, gesturing back to where he just came from. Friendly conversation filters through, and you catch the Doctor talking with some of your relatives.

"No, not at all." You purse your lips, trying to ignore the fact that your stomach has probably dropped to the floor more times than you can count, your heart doesn't feel like it's in your chest, and that your face feels like a sun going supernova. "I just got held up. You know, the usual family talk."

Tita Grace gives the most sickening smile you've ever seen and looks at Graham. "Would you mind helping us with something?"

You hope to God that it's over.

-

It's not over.

When night falls, Tita Grace drags you outside the house, and asks you to sit down next to a balete tree that you're pretty sure is actually haunted and then runs away at the speed of light.

Okay. You're just outside, there's nothing to worry about, surely your family would never do anything do embarrass you in front of the person that you're most likely attracted to, right? Right?

You look up to find that you're standing in front of a balcony, Romeo - style.

Not right, then.

The Doctor's voice rings faintly from inside the house. "Where are you lot taking me?"

"It's a surprise, Doctor," says Ryan. He sounds like he's having the time of his life.

A few young men walk up to you - you recognize them as your uncle's friends - hauling some things behind them. You squint, and then find that they're holding a few guitars, a beatbox, and a small amplifier.

You sigh. "What has Tita Grace made you do?"

"' _Te_ \- " One of the young men raises his hands in mock surrender, while the rest of his friends set up the impromptu band. "Don't be embarrassed. If you like her, you can't go wrong with a good old serenade."

"I don't - " You pinch the bridge of your nose, ignoring the weird feelig that seems to settle right in the center of your chest. "There's no changing your minds, is there?"

"Living abroad's made you grumpy, _inday_ ," another young man says. He slings the guitar strap over his shoulder and strums a few notes. "Lighten up, have a little fun with this."

Impromptu band assembled, the group of young men all look at you expectantly.

"What - you want me to sing?"

"That's the point, isn't it?" Another well-played strum to a song you faintly recognize. "Look, she's coming."

You look up to see the Doctor being practically pushed onto the balcony, the rest of Team TARDIS trailing along. You give them another suffering look before deciding to focus on the Doctor, who smiles and gives you a wave.

"Hello! What are you doing down there?" she brightly asks, and you give her a pained grin. It comes out more like a grimace. Her gaze flicks upwards, to the massive tree that you're sitting under, and her entire face lights up. "Oh, look at that tree! Well, it's not really a tree, more of a vine really, called a strangler fig."

The wonder in her voice - the Doctor was like a prism. She took ordinary things, things that you saw everyday, and just through her sheer enthusiasm, made them extraordinarily beautiful.

"You guys couldn't stay here without experiencing a traditional Filipino tradition," a young man begins. He says it with a flourish. "Elsewhere, you'd call it a serenade. Here, we call it the _harana_."

The Doctor looks at you, and the rest of the world seems to disappear.

And so you sing.

_Hindi masabi ang nararamdaman_  
_Di makalapit, sadyang nangingining na lang_  
_Mga kamay na sabik sa piling mo_  
_Ang iyong matang walang mintis sa pagtigil ng aking mundo_

"I can't say how I feel - I can't get close, I just tremble. My hands long to touch you; your gaze that doesn't hesitate to stop the world."

(Yaz manages to tear her eyes away from you and to the Doctor - maybe, Yaz thinks, this is the first time in so long that she's been truly speechless. The Doctor was normally a bouncing ball of energy, but this - this was different, this was new. The Doctor wasn't looking at anything else. The Doctor was looking at you.)

_Ako'y alipin ng pag-ibig mo_  
_Handang ibigin ang isang tulad mo_  
_Hangga't ang puso mo'y sa akin lang_  
_Hindi ka na malilinlang_

"I'm a slave to your love, ready to love someone like you. Until your heart is mine, you won't be decieved - "

(The Doctor - to put it simply? She's floored. She's been sung to before, she's sure she's got songs about her, but this isn't the same.)

_Ikaw ang ilaw sa dilim_  
_At ang liwanag ng mga bituin_

"You are the light in the dark and the brightness of the stars."

You look at the Doctor - she looks so intruigued, so endeared, something dancing behind those bright eyes of hers, the barest hint of a smile on her lips - and you're sure she feels loved.

The song is over before you know it, and the rest of the world comes back into focus. You hear the band make teasing noises and the everyone else cheering, but it all sounds like you're underwater.

You feel… satisfied, somehow, in a way that only you can understand.

The Doctor's still smiling, but she's smiling at you, and that makes all the difference.

Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all, you think to yourself, still basking in the light of the Doctor's smile. 

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed this really self-indulgent mess of a fic. this is kind of a prequel to another fic i'll be writing!
> 
> lmao, hit me upon tumblr if you wanna be friends


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